Wednesday, July 28, 2004
schools out for summer
cucumber's are perfect here. perfectly crispy. Im eating them with delicious hummus. a delicious after running dinner at nearly midnight... oh well. Lately I can run fast again - not as fast as when i was 10 and could beat everyone in my summer soccer camp, boys and girls, except one 14 year old boy - but I can sprint again and I remember how much I loved sprinting when I was smaller. Im listening to Beck 'Sea Change' its weird cause when I first bought it it depressed me and i never listened to it. But the reason its so sad is because the lyrics are so mournful, but the music is contented and beautiful - the combination of which is so wistful and longing for happy times. But since I am so happy these days I dont really connect with the lyrics and just find the music smooth and light and ripe. Though I do feel rather sorry for Beck. My favorite song is ' Lost Cause'. So poignantly heart wrenching
a stripe of grass green, a stripe of white
a stripe of grass green
this delicate flag of the night is
curtains in the window of my opposite neighbour
the new house
the one that blocked my view of the mountains
But I don't really hold them against it.
Everyone has to live somewhere.
and I still can hear the crickets
and I still can see the summer grasses out the window
a guitarist played with chords at the lake tonight
while I lay barefoot on smooth, well cared for rocks
staring at the brightest star - and sometimes the others too
alternating between thinking of him and not thinking at all
When I leave this place I will shed many tears.
a stripe of grass green, a stripe of white
a stripe of grass green
this delicate flag of the night is
curtains in the window of my opposite neighbour
the new house
the one that blocked my view of the mountains
But I don't really hold them against it.
Everyone has to live somewhere.
and I still can hear the crickets
and I still can see the summer grasses out the window
a guitarist played with chords at the lake tonight
while I lay barefoot on smooth, well cared for rocks
staring at the brightest star - and sometimes the others too
alternating between thinking of him and not thinking at all
When I leave this place I will shed many tears.
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
japanese archery
Saturday, July 10, 2004
good girls and bad girls
The difference between these sets of students can be immediately observed by noting hair color. The good students who study hard and are nice and come to class on time have natural black hair. The bad girls who put on makeup in class, send emails to boys in class, show up late, and are always trying to avoid getting caught smoking have unnatural brassy orange hair as a way of marking themselves as bad girls. Im not saying I support this, but what's their english teacher who barely even speaks their language going to do?
In a way I respect the bad girls because the are sexually defiant in a country where modesty and demureness is what women are supposed to be like. But at the same time they rebel against that, but then don't seem to do anything else. I like the nice girls a lot actually - or these girls in particular. They do cool stuff like play in the band and actually try to listen to me in class. Ah the roles of women and girls are so often either or. Conformity or non-conformity and both are a pain in the ass. Because neither of them is really just doing what you want to do and find interesting. Of course there are plenty of exceptions to that - plenty of inspiring women -and there are hundreds of little exceptions to that in everyone. But even so, its so hard to get away from behaving within that context of societal expectations. Especially here. But I won't go into that now....
In a way I respect the bad girls because the are sexually defiant in a country where modesty and demureness is what women are supposed to be like. But at the same time they rebel against that, but then don't seem to do anything else. I like the nice girls a lot actually - or these girls in particular. They do cool stuff like play in the band and actually try to listen to me in class. Ah the roles of women and girls are so often either or. Conformity or non-conformity and both are a pain in the ass. Because neither of them is really just doing what you want to do and find interesting. Of course there are plenty of exceptions to that - plenty of inspiring women -and there are hundreds of little exceptions to that in everyone. But even so, its so hard to get away from behaving within that context of societal expectations. Especially here. But I won't go into that now....
untitled
Three thousand meanings to my life
And I hurl them away to break this shell of self-conscious womanhood
I slice it with freshly sharpened knives to watch the edges part
Like the soul of a live fish at a Tokyo sushi –ya
I emerge from the split
Just to spit and cough my beauty free
Not because it is a straight-jacket; because it is an irritating sweater
I am not violent
I am not non-violent
I slip out of it into nakedness, into nothingness
But I am not seducing you
I am not coy
What makes you think that interests me?
I have grown fat until I burst the hand-stitching of my under-things
I have sprouted a nose of cucumber proportions
I have called you 25 times a day
I have written willowy poetry
I have seduced you all
But those measures have only held me more tightly
I am tired of this game of ping pong
I will become pages in a book
I will become a bus stop
I will cackle when I feel like it and ignore your mental associations with Macbeth
I will be a square of linoleum in your puttin on the ritz kitchen
I am no more mysterious than you
And my teeth are just as sharp
But I will not bite, and I will not kiss you gently
I will sit here as usual eating when I am hungry
Drinking when I am thirsty
Sleeping when I am tired
Fucking when I am aroused
Laughing when I find the world absurd.
And I hurl them away to break this shell of self-conscious womanhood
I slice it with freshly sharpened knives to watch the edges part
Like the soul of a live fish at a Tokyo sushi –ya
I emerge from the split
Just to spit and cough my beauty free
Not because it is a straight-jacket; because it is an irritating sweater
I am not violent
I am not non-violent
I slip out of it into nakedness, into nothingness
But I am not seducing you
I am not coy
What makes you think that interests me?
I have grown fat until I burst the hand-stitching of my under-things
I have sprouted a nose of cucumber proportions
I have called you 25 times a day
I have written willowy poetry
I have seduced you all
But those measures have only held me more tightly
I am tired of this game of ping pong
I will become pages in a book
I will become a bus stop
I will cackle when I feel like it and ignore your mental associations with Macbeth
I will be a square of linoleum in your puttin on the ritz kitchen
I am no more mysterious than you
And my teeth are just as sharp
But I will not bite, and I will not kiss you gently
I will sit here as usual eating when I am hungry
Drinking when I am thirsty
Sleeping when I am tired
Fucking when I am aroused
Laughing when I find the world absurd.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
me at photo booth
I really like taking periodic photos of myself in photo booths. I like that no one takes the photo. It seems more objective. The first year I came to japan I did a project where wrote myself a postcard every week and took a photobooth photo and taped it onto the postcard. I thought it would be interesting to watch myself age over about 10 years. But I got sick of photos of me. So I stopped the project. But I still think the ones I have are pretty interesting. Weird. Its a strange kind of journal to keep because your future self is always getting mail from your past self - and the photos a week are weird because I dont look very different from photo to photo in one way, but in another way I really do. well. I think the postmen here thought I was nuts.
I really have to go to sleep now.
me at a photo booth tonight
I really have to go to sleep now.
me at a photo booth tonight
ugly modelling part 2
So I just came across this photo again recently and I had to post it since it is so funny. Its my brother at the Main St. Conveni ( some people might be familiar with that shop) at about 2 am two summers ago. We not only did a whole ' fashion shoot' in there at that hour, but we also got the the on-duty guy to be in it as a moral enforcement officer.... Ugly Modelling is a project which we have so far had 3 installations of - the premise is to put together the worst and most bizarre outfit and 'pull it off' through sheer model attitude - oh yeah and also walk around town baffling anyone who sees you. Actually the main street edition didnt really baffle anyone ( there was noone around at 2 am and main st. has its share of weird people) the third installation ( last summer) which took place in Kerrisdale ( upper middle class neighbourhood) was much more hilarious. We got every customer and staff member in Blockbuster to stare in shock at as as we walked past.
ugly modelling part 2 - main street conveni
ugly modelling part 2 - main street conveni
Monday, July 05, 2004
morning after
This is Zoe at Tomoya's house. It was too dark to take a photo, but I tried anyway. I sort of like the grainyness. It was taken with my new holga - which I bought for about 40 bucks at the ebisu gallery of contemporary photography. I also found a cool website later that's a bunch of photographers who only use toy cameras - including holgas, dianas and other low-fi technology
zoe sleeping at tomoya's house
zoe sleeping at tomoya's house
man in yokohama
I took this photo on a disposable camera for part of the art show I did in Yokohama last month - we all had an hour to take photos of something related to 'trans' we all had to pull a word out of a hat. mine was - I forgot! something that meant esp. So I took photos of people who looked exactly the same. But I had to use one up on this guy he was so photogenic. I like shooting street photography with disposable cameras - they are so much less intimidating to people. Though as you can see the definition is pretty terrible unless you have the ideal conditions.
man in yokohama
man in yokohama
rice fields in chino
erin me and zoe
zoe and dai
This is Zoe and and my friend Dai. We went for lunch in Ebisu Garden Square - our waiter was Philipino and was the most waiterlike waiter I have ever had. He had all these little waiter moves - like winking and clicking his tongue, and flipping the napkins around. He was like a waiter in a gangster movie.
zoe and dai again
zoe and dai again
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2004
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July
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- evening
- school
- sunset
- some favorite students
- malani at the barbeque
- charlie at mallet golf
- the jr. high swimming pool
- hadyn with fireworks
- me in tokyo
- schools out for summer
- japanese archery
- archery costume o kite iru
- balloon dream a balloon room at the school fest...
- picnic on a lake suwa pier a delicious picnic...
- students on sports day - the bad girls
- students on sports day - the good girls
- good girls and bad girls
- untitled
- yelling vans are out again
- me at photo booth
- ugly modelling part 2
- morning after
- man in yokohama
- tokyo has it all
- rice fields in chino
- erin me and zoe
- zoe and dai
- zoe and dai
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