Friday, July 21, 2006



I can't believe how long its been since I wrote on this. Its all because the weather started to get nice, and stayed nice, so nice I'm wearing nothing at 10;30 and still boiling hot. Seems unusual, but I' m definitely not complaining. Well, the weather as well as the fact that I am only on the computer when I have to be these days. What can I say, I just haven't been in the mood.

So why write now? I don't know I thought I'd grab the impulse while it lasts.

I saw 'Through a Scanner Darkly" this afternoon - it was great and awful - awful because it could have been so much better I thought - not enough payoff at the end.

The city looks hazy through the window of my newly cleaned out studio / computer / spare room - hazy lights on a hot night. I can hear the seagulls who have made a nest on the roof of our building squawking their nightwatch. We went up there a few days ago in a semi-successful attempt to clean seagull shit off our solarium window using a rag fashioned around a swiffer type broom thingy - I thought the parents were going to dive bomb us. I was seriously scared. But they just swooped around cawing and batting their wings - and we saw the baby! it was so cute. I thought it might fall off its little turret as it was walking around all grey and downy - luckily it didn't or the parents would probably have started attacking the skylight. I can see them up there all the time standing on guard.
Ah - easier to talk about now and very recently than trying to wrap up the last few silent months in some kind of neat package.
To all the people I owe letters/ emails to - I will write eventually and don't think I've singled you out - I've been neglecting those far away people i hold dear pretty much across the board. and even some of the close ones. I think about you all often if thats any consolation.
Have not come to any major revelation point about anything - but sort of chugging away at doing things I like, thinking I should work harder at some kind of plan, yet finding myself inclined to spend a lot of time enjoying my house, getting books about photographers from the library and drinking vermouth and ginger ale. its really too bad everyone else is so busy with their own little universes too, as my house is really a fantastic place to engage in this kind of activity, and I do miss having guests.
Still, one day soon I will shake myself off and think about the outside world again. I guess this is what happens when you get too contented! They say happiness is not necessarily good for productivity.
I have still been taking and making and finding photos - gradually pulling them into some kind of bouquet - or maybe I mean multiple different varieties of bouquets. But its a slow process, figuring out your mind made visible reflecting off times and places, deciding what parts are interesting and what parts sentimental, maudlin, or derivative, and you know I don't really feel inclined to rush it.

Lets hope time spent will result in a keenness of selection, intention, execution - and that the same will hold true of the various letters that have been taking shape slowly and organically the mughug langour of these hot days and nights.