Thursday, December 01, 2005
December the First
Well, things have been here and there, things have been in several places at once even, but maybe, possibly, I'm getting accustomed to the rhythm of life in the city at the edge of the great Pacific Ocean - the last outpost before you reach Hawaii... Vancouver.
November seemed to be a month of playing at being a grown-up. I am in the process of developing several companies - or shall I say - proprietorships - and its gotten to the point where I feel that taking yourself seriously in a professional sense - that is, believing that you can legitimately offer things to other people - and then following through no matter what it takes to make it happen - opens up a whole new dimension. In the sense that it suddenly seems possible that my working life actually could happen on my own terms. At least to a much greater degree than I thought before.
It seems like a game in a certain way though - not because I don't take the work itself seriously - but because I think identity is so tied up in your ' title' so to speak. The whole ' what do you do? ' scenario. And I think I have always had difficulties choosing what to do because I hated the idea of locking my identity into something. But now I feel like its all just costumes, acting, and if you look the part, and tell someone 'I'm a blah blah blah' they pretty much believe you. Not that I'm saying I want to do things I'm not capable of doing well, or that I'm trying to cheat anyone. Its just that I think that people's perception of you based on what you do - and the accompanying shifts in identity and self-esteem - are nothing at all really - just smoke and mirrors. Virtually everyone on earth stays alive by convincing other people to give them money for something. Thats how the world works. At least this world does. Everyone is marketing something, everyone is trying to get into your pockets. But I don't find this depressing really - its just the way it is. A big game.
Suddenly I'm not taking myself so seriously anymore - I don't really care about status, because it means a lot less than I thought it did - its so easy to be legitimate, you just have to act like you're legitimate. I'm not saying I'm going to try to be a rocket-scientist, but there are plenty of things I'm capable of doing well and its just that easy.
So now I have two companies in the works, and thinking on some others
Fine-art magnet production/ Framing and matting
Manga translation ( in partnership with Skye and one of our Japanese friends)
Its like toy companies a bit- if I like doing it, and it proves profitable, I'll keep doing it. If not, I will turf them into that big intangible dump out there of companies that didn't make the grade. Why shouldn't I have an experimentation period? I might as well experiment now when I can afford to. Then maybe by the time I have to get rent money each month, I will have a way of doing it that suits me.
As for my artistic ambitions, well, they haven't gone away... but I'm not totally sure where they are heading. Recently I had an idea that I wanted to start taking totally abstract photos of patterns I find all over the place. That perhaps that is the style I should focus on for a while. Its a sort of purifying thing to take photos of. Totally devoid of connotation except in the most vague way. Its like a glass of clear water for your overstressed eyes and brain. And all this business stuff can be tiring. We'll see though. There are plenty of things to explore.
A few weeks ago, before the snow started, there was a fog that lasted nearly a week. I went out one day and wandered around the city taking photos. Here are some of those, and some of the abstracts I've been doing.
Oh yeah, and a cat I met in Seattle when we were there last week for American Thanksgiving ( and for Jenny's amazing dinner, and Billy singing in the Children of the Revolution show, and Julie's return from India )
Posted by arielkg at 10:19 PM
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